Re: Remember that you must behave as at a banquet

Waiting is good. Expectations are bad.

Today I was reading this passage from the Enchiridion:

“Remember that you must behave as at a banquet. Is anything brought round to you? Put out your hand, and take a moderate share. Does it pass you? Do not stop it. Is it not come yet? Do not yearn in desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. So with regard to children , wife, office, riches; and you will some time or other be worthy to feast with the gods. And if you do not so much as take the things which are set before you, but are able even to forego them, then you will not only be worthy to feast with the gods, but to rule with them also. For, by thus doing, Diogenes and Heraclitus, and others like them, deservedly became divine, and were so recognized.”

I think it’s easy to miss the point of this passage (one of my favorites). If you’ve read anything by Epictetus, you know he repeats a single teaching over and over again:

Don’t go after things that you aren’t fully in control of getting, don’t avoid things you aren’t fully in control of avoiding. Or, due to a fault of your own, you’ll be disappointed.

The point of this story is simply to refrain from going after anything, really. It’s better to just wait. Of course, he’s talking about anything external, and that’s what the banquet here represents.

Don’t expect for food that isn’t yours, in someone else’s house, at someone else’s party, to come to you. Act likewise in all other external affairs, like your family, your work, getting that home you want, and you won’t be agitated by disappointment. If it’s meant for you, it will come to you, so wait.

Now, this doesn’t mean do nothing. For instance, you want to save to buy that new home you want (something I’m doing right now, actually). Once we’ve saved up, and we’re ready to buy, instead of insisting that everything has to happen right now, I will be waiting for the right time. If the kind of home I’m looking for doesn’t come right away, or even not at all, due to this teaching in the Enchiridion, I will simply wait.

Waiting is good.
Expectations are bad.

I think it’s easy to miss the point of this passage…